The Discard Diet

One thing I’ve always been unable to resist is free food. In my current job, food is always available. As a result, I’ve been putting on some weight.

We’re always hosting meetings of one sort or another, and the office staff orders nice lunches brought in. These can be as simple as pizza or sandwiches, and as complicated as multiple-course meals with appetizers, soup, salads, hot entrees and desserts. The food is never consumed completely. When the meetings are over, the leftovers are placed out in the break room for anyone who wants them.

People in my company travel frequently, and have developed a modest tradition. Someone always brings back candy to share. They always bring back loads of it, and it’s left out in a public area that everyone walks past every day.

I’ve decided to try and ignore these treats, but it’s almost impossible. Yesterday, I discovered a secret that might actually work. I’m calling it “The Discard Diet.”

When I walk past the candy display, I take a piece. Then I throw it in the trash.

Amazingly, it works. It’s not about eating the free candy. It’s about taking the free candy. I know, it seems wasteful, but if I ate the candy it would be gone anyway, right?

If it works with the pizza and sandwiches, I should start losing this weight pretty quickly.

The tricky part is whether I can make it work at home. If my wife makes a nice dinner, I don’t think she’ll be very supportive if I fill my plate and then just throw it in the garbage. This diet may need a little refinement.