Oahu: Warning Signs

When we arrived in Honolulu, it was about 9:00 pm and we had been traveling for about 18 hours in narrow, uncomfortable Coach seats. The drive from the airport was irritating and stressful, because the clueless moron at the rental agency sent us on the scenic route along the waterfront instead of the direct route via the highway. Of course, the scenic waterfront was pitch black. Worse, road crews were digging it up, sending us on a nerve-wracking detour. At the hotel, we collapsed into bed with grateful relief.

We had booked our trip through a travel agency because they offered a great deal that could be upgraded in tiers (the upgrades provided increasingly better hotels). We upgraded a couple of tiers, but we didn’t upgrade to the top tier.

Despite our exhaustion, the six-hour time difference between Hawaii and our home in Florida had us up at 6:00 am. My wife looked out the window and saw this view of Waikiki Beach:

My wife expects every hotel in Hawaii to be on the beach. In her mind, there is no logical reason to build a hotel anywhere else. She expressed her disappointment with some carefully-chosen expletives.

We got in the car and drove north up the coast, marveling at the scenic vistas:

We stopped at a roadside turnoff that was carefully marked with these warning signs:


Of course, the rules don’t apply to some people, like this moron who crossed the fence and stood inches from certain death to take a photograph of the horizon:

Eventually, we came to Sandy Beach state park. Unlike Florida, Hawaiian beaches are rare, because the coastline is mostly composed of sharp, dangerous lava rock.

Sandy Beach was posted with these dire warning signs, so we didn't go into the water, even though there were dozens of surfers risking spinal injuries.

Instead, we wandered down the beach until we came to this sign, which declared "Danger Do Not Go Beyond This Point:"

Of course, we walked right past it. My wife asked me to take a photo of her, sitting on a rock, staring wistfully out to sea. There are certain moments in a marriage where the years of bickering and stress are completely erased in an instant of blissful delight. This was one of those moments: