Pinkeye

On Friday night, I went to a Scottish pub with a group of coworkers. We sat for a couple of hours, noshing on appetizers and drinking beer. One of the items on the menu was a peculiar delicacy I’ve never seen before, called a “Scotch Egg.” It’s a peeled hard-boiled egg that is surrounded by ground sausage meat into a ball about 4 inches in diameter and then deep fried. It’s served by slicing it into wedges, like a melon.

I don’t know whether it was the Scotch Egg or the thick, bitter beer, but after about an hour, I started picking at my eye, which was producing unusual quantities of what I used to call “eye snot.”

By 11:00 that evening, my eyelid was swollen and inflamed, and my eye was practically drooling mucus. The next morning, it was glued shut. I was able to pry it open in the shower, but I didn’t like what I saw.



I knew right away it was conjunctivitis, also known as “pinkeye.” It’s a fairly common and highly contagious disease, usually infecting little kids who bring it home from day care. I’ve never had it in my life. So why am I getting it now?

After a visit to the doctor, I was given a prescription for antibiotic eye drops, which I have to put in my eye every 3 hours, when I’m awake. As it turns out I wasn’t awake very much on Saturday and Sunday, because the infections sucked the life out of me.

Apparently, it’s going to look like this for 2 weeks. The good news is that I can drink all the beer I want, because nobody will be able to tell by looking at my eyes.