In Florida we’ve been suffering, like the rest of the country, through a brutal cold snap. It’s not as brutal as Chicago or Detroit, but for Florida, it’s been really cold. Home heating systems aren’t adequate to deal with it, and most Floridians don’t have proper clothing to cope. But it seems that the people of Florida aren’t the only residents who are suffering. The other day, I was dropping off some dry cleaning, and found the attendant with a bird on her shoulder.
It seems the bird, flying around in search of some warm place to roost, had flown directly into the glass window of the cleaners and fallen, stunned, to the sidewalk. The attendant picked it up, took it inside, and set it on her shoulder. The bird was content to sit there fluffed up, nestled cozily in her hair. In cartoons, people always see tweeting birds when they get hit on the head. I wonder if birds see dancing humans?
My company is very security conscious. Any corporate documents must be disposed of in locked bins. The bins are picked up by a contractor and taken away to shred the contents. The contractor leaves fresh, empty bins behind. Last week, the contractor left these two bins.
Note the absence of a deposit slot on the bin on the right. I find myself wondering if a contractor with this kind of quality-control problem is the best one to handle sensitive corporate documents.
Yesterday a bird shat on my car. It’s an old car, so I wasn’t upset about it. In fact, I’ve been thinking about buying a new car, but I can’t really afford the one I want. But when I saw the stain, I saw Jesus, suspended on the cross, surrounded by a halo of light.
Suddenly, I find myself wondering if the bird shit has miraculously increased the value of my vehicle. Maybe I can list it on eBay and a wealthy Christian will be willing to buy it for the price of a brand-new Buick LaCrosse. Hey, it’s worth a shot.