President Obama: Gentlemen, it's confirmed. We've located the hideout of Osama Bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan. I want a small team of tough, highly trained American soldiers to breach his compound and kill him. No collateral damage. A nighttime operation, in and out in under an hour. It will be dangerous, difficult and I will not tolerate failure. Admiral, are the Navy SEALS up to the challenge?
Admiral Roughead: Yes, sir, I'll get right on ...
General Dempsey: Sir, the Rangers are ready to undertake this mission.
President Obama: I'm thinking of using the SEALS here, Marty.
General Dempsey: But sir, with all due respect, this is a ground op. It's 600 miles from the nearest boat. Army is the way to go.
General Amos: If I may interject, the Marine Corps has a long, proud history of both land and sea ...
General Dempsey: Shut the hell up, Jimmy.
President Obama: We're gonna go with the SEALS, this time. Sorry Marty. Maybe the next international terrorist mastermind.
General Dempsey: The next one? The next one? What next one? You've been using robot aircraft to take them out!
General Schwartz: Very effectively, if I may say so. Cheap to operate, no risk to American soldiers, ....
General Dempsey: You sons of bitches sitting in La-Z-Boys playing video games while my boys are sweating and bleeding to earn a chance to be heroes! Please, sir, please. You gotta give this one to the Rangers. They work so hard. They've all got your picture on their lockers. I take back those things I said about you and the SEALS at the Foreign Press dinner after that Somali pirate thing. I was outta line.
President Obama: SEALS, Marty. Rangers next time, maybe. Meeting adjourned.
Monday, May 2, 2011
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