Monday, March 17, 2008

It's the Little Things That Matter

Today was my first day at my new job. I showed up bright-eyed and enthusiastic, having managed to recover from the events of Friday night, when some buddies fed me beer like they were preparing me for the production of foie gras. I confess I was a willing participant in the experiment.

I was shown to my work area, which is not a typical cubicle. Instead of 6-foot high walls, it consists of low glass partitions. You may notice something else missing in this picture:


That’s right, there’s no computer. I was informed that it would take another two weeks to get one. I gave three weeks notice at my previous job, and they couldn’t prepare computer for me in that amount of time? It’s a big corporation, and the wheels turn slowly, but that’s FIVE WEEKS. I read the employee handbook in the first 20 minutes and spent the rest of the day twiddling my thumbs and playing games on my phone. As one employee put it, “At least you’re being paid to sit there.”

This is a big deal to me. It indicates a lack of corporate will to succeed. I don’t know why such incredible lapses are permitted, but they seem to be rampant in big corporations.

At one point, I wandered into the kitchen/cafeteria area to get a cup of coffee, and to my delight, I saw these three coffeepots:


They were labeled as containing Barnie’s coffee, a premium product that promises to make mornings a lot more tolerable.


Alongside the coffee area was a large refrigerator stocked with complimentary soft drinks and bottled water.


Things were looking up, I thought, and then I looked down - into the vegetable bin:


OK, now things are DEFINITELY looking up. I can’t wait till tomorrow!


Kimberly said...

Wow. That's not too shabby. I think you should take the bad (no computer, lack of hussle) with the good (designer coffee and free beer)!

Chris said...

New job - computer > old job + computer, right?

michael said...

I recommend you spend your first 2 weeks getting hammered and mastering cell phone video games...maybe you could take up drunk texting? I just recently got into's pretty cool.

burton said...

I wonder if getting hammered every day would help you with the Lo and Behold issues!